Anxiety: Why Do I Feel it and What is it Telling Me?
What is Anxiety?
We live in a society where there is a need to keep busy, perform at exceptional levels and take on more than we can sometimes chew. This can leave us feeling exhausted, frustrated or burned out. It can also put us in a state of constantly feeling anxious. So what does “anxiety” mean and how do we manage this?
There are many types of anxiety, and different people may experience a variety throughout their lives. We often see young children experience “separation anxiety” when they are first put in situations of having to be around new people without their primary caregiver. This is a normal developmental stage, but can become more serious. Another type of anxiety is “social anxiety”, which sometimes begins with feelings of nervousness or anxiousness in social settings or speaking in front of others. It is quite common for children and adolescents to become a little anxious when they are asked to give a presentation at school.
However, we most commonly hear about anxiety in a generalized sense. Anxiety is a condition believed to be rooted in our natural fear response. Hundreds of years ago, we needed our fear response to tell us that we were in actual danger, and it would engage our fight, flight or freeze response. In the present day however, that fear response sometimes kicks in when we are facing a perceived threat and not an actual one. This perceived threat may be a presentation we have to do at work, or worrying about our car breaking down, or the fight we had with our partner. Often, anxiety also is rooted in our rumination of events that already happened- things that can’t be changed- or, events that have yet to occur.
Our bodies do not always know the difference between fear and anxiety. As such, we often have similar physiological sensations when we feel anxious. Our breath may become quick and shallow, we may feel nauseous or become irritable. Our sleep patterns may change- there might be difficulty falling or staying asleep. People sometimes also find it difficult to concentrate or they experience muscle tension. These physiological responses leave our system exhausted and depleted.
Anxiety and Covid-19
With so much uncertainty and the rapid pace that the world has changed since March, it is normal for feelings of anxiousness to creep in. Whether it is due to financial insecurity, lack of physical connection to loved ones, or worries about health changes, it makes sense that everyone’s nervous system is on high alert. Covid-19 may not only present us with actual fears, but also a perceived threat- what will happen today, tomorrow or in the future?
There are so many things that are out of our control right now, which can also be a cause of anxiety. Often, the more we feel in control of a situation, a place or people, the more at ease we feel. Logically then, right now we might feel very out of control- there are new rules, expectations and changes to so many of our regular day-to-day routines. It is important that we understand how to keep ourselves grounded, and find ways to bring calmness into our lives right now.
Anxiety in Children
Children and youth often experience feelings of anxiousness as well. Anxiety can start early, and may become harder to manage as the child grows. Our children and youth are feeling pressures to succeed and perform unlike at any other time. Fierce competition to get into highly competitive post-secondary programs, elite sports or arts academies, and the desire to fit in all may contribute to a child’s feelings of anxiety.
Some feelings of anxiousness are normal, and in fact, they help build a tolerance and resiliency to struggles and difficult times. However, it is equally important that children be taught healthy coping strategies that will allow them to manage these feelings. Leaning into the discomfort, practicing strategies that support successful management of the big feelings, and then recognizing its effectiveness will reinforce how they can handle these challenging situations.
Tools for the Toolbox
As anxiety thrives when we ruminate on the past or focus on the future, one of the best tools we have is to focus on the present. This can be done in a variety of ways, including breathwork, mindful eating, yoga, or other grounding techniques. These strategies are often similar for children and adults alike, so practicing strategies together can not only be a great way to connect with your child, but also help build both of your toolboxes.
Upcoming Events
Kim will be hosting a 90 minute virtual workshop titled Anxiety: How to Support Our Children and Youth on Saturday, October 31st , 2020 at 10am MT. To sign up for this workshop, click here (insert event brite link)
Other Recommendations
For more information on how to support children through a variety of their emotions, Kids These Days by Dr. Jody Carrington is an excellent read. Additionally, a great beginning resource on mindfulness can be found by reading Mindfulness for Beginners: Reclaiming the Present Moment--and Your Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
About Kimberly Hamilton
Kimberly Hamilton is a Registered Provisional Psychologist, Grief Recovery SpecialistⓇ and has twenty years of experience as a teacher and school counsellor. She is very passionate about how to support grieving students and believes in the power of the teacher-student relationship.
Kimberly has taught students both in Canada and Mexico, from a variety of backgrounds and one thing has remained constant: children are grieving and teachers don’t know how to support them. She has found much joy in spreading the message and empowering teachers through small, actionable steps and validating the experiences of students.
Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/BlGFrdgpBqw