The Upside of Shadow Work
“How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also If I am to be whole.” C.G. Jung
Most of us have parts of ourselves that we accept as well as parts that make us want to cringe. Over the past few years, shadow work has become a more recognized form of healing when addressing trauma and other sources of emotional pain. The concept of the shadow self originated from psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Carl Jung, who coined the term in the early twentieth century. It is human nature to hide or repress emotions relating to embarrassment, shame or pain; however, this also robs us of the ability to live in alignment with our authentic self. The shadow is the underlying dark emotions that we hide from ourselves and others because it protects us from feeling vulnerable. The notion that it’s okay to acknowledge the darkness we carry also offers an opportunity to identify the limiting beliefs that hold us back and prevent us from feeling positive emotions such as joy, laughter, gratitude, and beauty within our lives.
What is Shadow Work?
Diving into the murky waters of emotions is necessary for healing to occur but it isn’t always necessary, or even beneficial, to discuss the vivid details of traumatic experiences. Exploring the shadow side illuminates the uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and body sensations that have been wrapped up and hidden amongst the debris of trauma. While shadow works sounds almost sinister, it really doesn’t have to be. Rather than seeing shadow work as an obstacle, it’s truly as an opportunity to acknowledge negative beliefs about oneself that contribute to sadness, shame and fear. Shadow work brings to light the areas within us that remain unhealed. We most often see the shadow side show up when we’re feeling “triggered” or “activated” from either a situation or an interaction that ignites discomfort, with shame and fear being the most significant underlying emotions.
Toxic Shame vs Healthy Shame
Toxic shame hides in secrecy while healthy shame grounds us and builds a psychological foundation for growth. Healthy shame is the force that guides us to self-correct disruptive behaviours while toxic shame is a form of spiritual bankruptcy that deprives us of self-worth. The authentic self is not something that is lost but rather will cower away until it feels safe to come out. Unfortunately, the longer shame hides, the more we feel the need to protect ourselves with behaviours that we think wil protect us from vulnerability. Eventually toxic shame will show up as:
Self-loathing or poor self esteem
Self-deceit and deceiving others
Anxiety and depression
Substance dependence
Offensive behavior toward others
Struggling to have healthy relationships with others
Self-sabotage
Self-absorption
An inflated ego
The Benefits of Shadow Work
Sifting through embarrassment, shame, and self-sabotage help us gain freedom from the pain we try to shove down deep inside. Personally, I would not be able to be a trauma therapist had I not met my own darkness. Exploring my shadow self has gifted me with compassion to sit with others in their darkness, because on the other end, I so fully know the empowerment and gratitude that comes from healing. The lotus – a sacred flower representing enlightenment and rebirth, cannot expose itself without the challenge of thriving in the darkness. Its roots are firmly latched in the mud, where it submerges itself every night and remerges through the murky waters by morning – beautiful; sparkling; clean.
Accepting that we have a shadow side as well as regularly acknowledging this aspect of ourselves allows us to live in accordance with our personal values. It lets us remove the protective masks off so that we can be vulnerable, live with courage and offer ourselves to the world in a way that is open, compassionate, and gentle. Hurt people, hurt people, but healed people create the ripple effect of healing others by doing nothing more than being themselves.
Blog Written by Beth Gallant
Beth is a Registered Social Worker and EMDR Clinician.
Beth completed her Bachelor of Social Work at St. Thomas University and her Masters of Social Work at Carleton University, specializing in psychotherapy. She completed additional courses and training through McMaster University where she studied substance dependence and recovery.
Beth has been offering support within the mental health field for the past 15 years. She utilizes several evidence-based approaches including Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT and Mindfulness-based CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Motivational Interviewing (MI), and Eye-Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy. She also enjoys incorporating psycho-spiritual practices to help people find meaning during their healing journey.
Beth practice’s from a heartfelt and authentic framework and deeply values creating a safe space for people to explore their feelings. She sees grief as a human experience that requires self-compassion in the healing process and that it manifests uniquely for each individual.
To learn more about Beth or to work with her click here.