Journaling can seem to be a daunting or intimidating task. Clients often say that they don’t know how to journal or they don’t do it right. But journaling is meant to be something personal or a reflection of you, therefore there is no wrong way to do it. Writing down your thoughts or emotions can have many benefits, some of which are an increased awareness of self, stronger ability to express yourself, and a safe and controlled outlet for the many emotions you may feel. Sometimes things happen in our lives that deeply affect us, bring up strong emotions and really upset us. Writing in a journal allows for those feelings to move out of your body! It can also encourage you to reflect, which may bring new insights into your day-to-day experiences. 

Types of Journals to Explore

Having said that though, sometimes it can be helpful to recognize that there are many different types of journals. Some people keep a gratitude journal. This might look like writing down a few things every day they are grateful for. When we keep a gratitude journal every day, it actually allows our brain to replay the highlights of what happened and can start to support us finding more happiness in our day-to-day lives. 

Another type of journal that can be helpful is one for self-reflection. In keeping one of these, you simply write about events that are bringing up some emotions- positive or negative- and write as though you were talking to someone. Simply writing about the event and how you are feeling allows you to express yourself, so the emotion is no longer stewing inside; it’s been given an opportunity to be heard, if only on the paper. 

For people who are curious about creative expression, art journals can be very powerful. Sometimes that might look like creating a collage- a mishmash of different images and words on a page, or it might be drawing or painting something and then writing words that come up as a result. In some of the groups we run at The Grief and Trauma Healing Centre, art journaling becomes an integral part of the processing. 

For those who often read books on self-help, journaling can support the work you are trying to dig deep into. As you’re reading, perhaps a sentence or passage really stands out to you, or evokes emotion. Note that page and at the end of the chapter, go to your journal and begin writing. Perhaps you include the sentence or passage and then write what memories came up when you read it. Or maybe you thought of a particular person or situation, so you explain the feelings you had at the time and how reading that statement reminded you of it. 

What Holds You Back?

There are many reasons why people struggle with journaling. It is not uncommon, for example, if you kept a journal or diary as a child, for a trusted family member like mom or sibling, to have found and read it. This experience may have solidified the notion that you can’t trust people and you never want to write a journal ever again. 

For others, the fear of what would happen if someone finds their journal now, or perhaps down the road when they die. These worries are real, and there are ways to explore journaling that also protect you from that experience. There are some journal apps that can be downloaded and even password protected, so your secrets can be kept safe. Or, you can designate a friend or trusted family member to destroy the journals when you die. 

Sometimes people feel the pressure to fill the pages, and that can become a barrier to journaling. Diaries that have every day of the year may make you feel as though something big needs to happen and be noted 365 days in the year, when in reality, you don’t have that much to say most of the time. 

Choosing the Right Journal

Choosing the right journal for you can entail many different aspects you haven’t thought about. It’s also a very personal choice- it can be like buying underwear! Things that I always consider when buying a journal include spiral or bound (I prefer spiral, so I can fold the book over when I write on the back); lined or unlined; full page like a scribbler or the smaller journals you might find in a stationary or bookstore; dated or not. I tend to find ones that have a cover that feels inspirational or personal, because, well, it becomes an extension and reflection of that period of time in my life. 

Regardless of what your preferences are, starting a journal practice can have so many benefits! Sometimes it’s nice to reflect on how much our lives have changed since a particular moment in time. Other times, it’s simply a great opportunity to move through some deep emotions or express what is happening around us. 

Your Journal Challenge

Regardless of where you are in your healing journey, I invite you to explore this tool. Spend some time finding a journal that you can connect to- one that speaks to you with its colour, cover, texture and pages. Bookstores like Chapters or Indigo, as well as unique stationary stores such as Parcel + Prose, can offer you a variety of journals that you might like. Or, even a simple notebook from the dollar store or drugstore will work! Whatever feels best for you is best for you! 

Once you have your journal, carve out a quiet space. For me, I like my office. I put on some soft music, I have my water or tea nearby (and sometimes my tissues as well, depending on what is stirred up). Give yourself time to get comfortable and allow yourself time to settle in. There is no hurry. This is time for you! 

If you don’t have a topic to start with, you might want to read this passage by Brené Brown. and then write down your thoughts and feelings about it. I’ve included a few reflection questions to get you started, if you choose to accept this challenge! You’ve got this! 

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy- the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Questions to reflect on: 

What does being brave look like to you? What parts of your story have you been running from? How do you feel when you think of being vulnerable? What does your light look like?

About Kimberly Hamilton

Kimberly Hamilton is a Registered Provisional Psychologist, Grief Recovery SpecialistⓇ and has twenty years of experience as a teacher and school counsellor. She is very passionate about how to support grieving students and believes in the power of the teacher-student relationship. 

Kimberly has taught students both in Canada and Mexico, from a variety of backgrounds and one thing has remained constant: children are grieving and teachers don’t know how to support them. She has found much joy in spreading the message and empowering teachers through small, actionable steps and validating the experiences of students. 

Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/fVUl6kzIvLg