Ashley Mielke’s Story of Hope

On November 26, 2010, my father died by suicide. 

I was 23 years old and a second-year graduate student at the time, studying to be a psychologist. Nothing I had been taught in school had prepared me for this moment. I felt deep shame and devastation about my dad’s substance dependence and his death by suicide. I was angry and heartbroken that he chose to die the way he did. And instead of seeking connection from others, I emotionally isolated myself.

 Fast forward a few years, I was working as a Registered Psychologist in a private clinic and something magical began to unfold. A number of grieving people were being referred to work with me. And I came alive in this work! I was connecting with other people who knew the pain and isolation that I felt. But the problem was, although I was eager to help, I didn’t have any tools. I hadn’t learned how to heal my own broken heart. 

I knew that in order to show up fully and wholeheartedly for others, I first had to do my own work.

 That’s when I signed up for The Grief Recovery Method Certification Training – the only evidence-based grief program in the world found to effectively help grieving people recover from loss of any kind. This 4-day training changed the course of my life. I completed what was emotionally unfinished in my relationship with my dad, I allowed myself to be seen and witnessed in my pain, and I experienced the power of connection over our shared human experience of loss.

 It was this very decision to face my deepest pain that uncovered my greatest calling.

The day after the training, I went to the registries office and started my company, The Grief and Trauma Healing Centre. I knew after having this transformative life experience that I was called to serve grieving people – to create a safe space for them to feel seen and heard, to inspire hope, and to journey with them on the pathway to healing, using the very same tools that healed my broken heart. And now, 7.5 years later, I lead a team of heart-centred and compassionate therapists who have been called to serve our mission – a mission that everyone will have the tools to deal with loss and no one will ever grieve alone.

My story is a reminder that sometimes our deepest purpose is born out of our greatest pain. We may not understand it in the moment, but we can trust that healing and meaning-making is possible through hope.

Gina Baretta’s Story of Hope

My name is Gina! Professionally, I am a Mental Health Therapist specializing in grief and trauma. Personally, I am an empath, value my relationships, and I am always searching for my next big adventure. 

I have experienced several losses including the death of my dad at a young age, end of relationships, loss of health and major life transitions. My losses inevitably altered my life resulting in sadness, anger, and fear of the future. I remember asking myself “How will I ever move forward?” 

As an athlete, I began to relate my emotional suffering to my physical suffering. I thought of those moments where I felt I couldn’t run another step without fainting, or when I was physically pushed down by others in sports, or experiencing several injuries that resulted in deep suffering. 

After reflecting on these moments, I remembered that I always got back up. Regardless of how intense the pain was, I always got through it. I began using the inner resources I already had and applied them to my emotional suffering. I gave myself permission to feel my emotions, engaged in positive self-talk, shared my suffering with people I trusted, engaged in self care and set healthy boundaries. 

We all have inner resources and we are all resilient. Look within at your own strengths, ask for help when you need it and ask yourself “What do I need today?” . I continue to be passionate about supporting others, building on their strengths, adding to individuals' tool boxes and offering a space for stories and suffering to be heard.

Morgan Jefferson’s Story of Hope

I’m Morgan Jefferson, a registered provisional psychologist, and colleague at The Grief & Trauma Healing Centre. I identify as a holistic therapist, which for me means finding a balance between mind, body, and spirit wellness in both my practice and personal life. 

I began working in the mental health field in 2014 and have extensive experience working with children, teens, and families from various backgrounds. I am a passionate seeker and enjoy reading about positive psychology, post-traumatic growth, as well as transpersonal psychology. 

The loss that brought me into grief work is the loss of my spouse. Losing my husband so unexpectedly when our new life was just beginning has and continues to impact me. Although each loss is unique, I understand how others’ pain encompasses many depths. This ripples into how I choose to show up for myself and others each day. 

My healing journey includes combining Eastern and Western modalities and using tangible, regular practices. Having been a yogi since my early teen years, I relied on showing up on my mat during difficult times. I also highly recommend therapy and encourage others to explore somatic therapy options, for example, Hakomi, which I began training in 2018. 

I find deep joy and privilege in walking alongside others in their journeys. My message of hope for you is to listen to both the vulnerability and intelligence of your heart as it will lead you to wholeness.

Celeste Ferguson’s Story of Hope

In June, my family experienced the collective loss of a parcel of land we lovingly refer to as The Farm, a part of our family for nearly a half-century. The Farm has been an influential place, serving as a home away from home, a sanctuary from the bustle of city life, as well as my personal place of peaceful solitude, the physical embodiment of my happy place in nature. With this loss, I was overwhelmed by sadness at the thought that I will never have a chance to one day bring my own family to this place that has meant so much to me and my identity, and regret that as I have gotten older my visits have grown less frequent.

For my healing however, I was able to spend one last afternoon saying my goodbyes, walking around and memorizing the details and sensations of my happy place, while honouring my experiences and memories there. I did this all the while saying goodbye to the hopes, dreams, and expectations I had for the Farm and my future, leaving space in my heart for the creation of new opportunities. Goodbye farm, you will be missed but never forgotten. 

As a result of this loss, my personal and professional understanding of what constitutes a loss has shifted, highlighting that grief is a unique experience in the eyes of the beholder. Because of this shift, I strive to empathetically support clients with loss experiences beyond those we typically consider, as all loss is meaningful in its own way to the individual experiencing it. Whether the loss of a home, the death of a loved one or an intangible loss of self, all loss can be painful. And while we don’t always get to say goodbye beforehand, there is still hope for finding life and meaning within our healing.

Rebecca Thompson’s Story of Hope

My name is Rebecca Thompson.  I have been married to my husband, Scott for over ten years and am a mother to an 8 year old son, Liam, a 5 year old daughter, Rory, and a bereaved mother to my son, Xavier who was stillborn on April 4, 2014. This was the day that my heart was cracked wide open and at that point, I truly felt hopeless and continually questioned why this profound loss had happened to me.  

After my son died, I participated in The Grief Recovery Method’s Grief Support Group and attained the tools I had desperately needed for the intense emotions that had been crippling me.   Participating in this group propelled me to take The Grief Recovery Method certification training with our Founder and my friend, Ashley Mielke in 2015 in order to become certified and to help other grieving people within my community.

While I wouldn’t wish this heartache upon anyone, I am thankful that over the past few years, I have personally experienced some redemption for my sorrow.  As a Counsellor, I know that I have been called to come alongside those who are suffering and to help them exchange their suffering for authentic hope and healing. 

I truly believe that we are created for community and that hope can be found as we reach out for support from others including family, friends, faith leaders, and professional counsellors.  Please know that I am here for you and that you don’t have to walk this grief journey alone.  

Hilary McKee’s Story of Hope

In April of 2019, I found myself on an emergency flight back to the UK, surrounded by panicked passengers and filled with anxiety and loss. The life and business I had spent years saving and planning for had disappeared overnight. 

I had spent only a few weeks living in Lombok, Indonesia, working from my laptop and building a business, before having to scramble to catch one of the last flights off the island when the Indonesian government decided overnight to place the entire country in an emergency shutdown. After 25 hours of connecting flights, intense screening and security in airports, and experiencing the collective panic of passengers and airline staff, my partner and I arrived in the UK.

I was overwhelmed by sadness over the loss of the life I had spent years planning and preparing for. I began to strengthen my practice of self compassion and allowed myself to lean into my emotions, rather than deny or bury them. I found healing through meditation, journaling, and therapy. I had faith that, while this was a painful and difficult challenge, it would also be an opportunity for personal and professional growth.

I decided to listen to my gut, and took yet another risk - to combine my business background with my passion for mental health and shift industries completely. I connected with Ashley Mielke, founder of The Grief and Trauma Healing Centre, and joined her team shortly thereafter. I am filled with gratitude every day to be a part of a team of such inspiring women, all of whom compassionately journey with people on the pathway to healing. 

It is often from the darkest places where we find the freedom to let go and have faith. We are so much stronger than we often give ourselves credit, and I truly believe that trusting in our own resilience and intuition will lead us to happiness and healing.

Our Story of Hope

Hope is a powerful concept. It inspires and motivates us to keep going during the most painful and difficult seasons of our lives. It also serves as an anchor for the future when we feel like giving up. Sometimes hope is all we have.

 Six of our teammates at The Grief and Trauma Healing Centre courageously shared their stories to inspire hope for others through our 7 Days of Hope Series. Although each person and each story were unique and individual, the shared common thread that connected them was the universality of hope in the midst of pain and loss. 

 Hope allowed them to keep going. Hope gave them permission to heal. 

 Hope may take many forms including, sitting in prayer, gardening, writing in a journal, trusting in a higher power, meditating, exercising, resting, cooking, practicing yoga, nurturing a friendship, engaging in breath work, going to church, reading, going on a vacation, connecting with a new community, laughing, sharing your story, going to a healing retreat, or attending therapy.

 Hope is the anchor that reminds us that there are better days ahead; that the pain and suffering is only for a season and not for a lifetime.

 We sincerely hope that you found this series to be inspiring and hope-giving. Regardless of where you are in your journey of healing, you are not alone and this moment in time does not define the rest of your life. 

 We are humbled to continue inspiring hope and healing through our counselling services at The Grief and Trauma Healing Centre and through our annual Hope Campaign.

 To end with a beautiful and inspiring quote by Barbara Kingsolver, “The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.”

Sincerely,

The Grief and Trauma Healing Team